Steroids Running Rampant In Fishing World
You knew it would come to this sooner or later....
I was sitting in one of my favorite fishing haunts the other day, getting yet another report from a recent Alaskan fishing trip,when I overheard a conversation between two local guides.
"Todd sure had a great Springer season."
"Yeah, nobody seemed to be catching any fish except him?!"
"And did you notice the size of his HEAD...it's getting HUGE!!"
"Must be all that rowing he's been doing all summer."
"Yeah, that time spent on his BOWLEX in the off season is really starting to pay off."
"Some guys think he might be JUICING."
"You mean like orange juice??"
"No- you hamburger- STEROIDS."
"Yeah, you know the last couple of years Todd has been having a tough go of it out there. Seems like all the younger guides have been giving him a run for the money. His fish catching production had really dropped off the last few seasons. At first, guys started seeing him drinking a lotta SOBE--you know that drink that has a bunch of Creatine, Taurine and Polypropylene in it-- anyway, pretty soon he started to need bigger fishing hats, one guy said he saw his head burst right through a ball cap on a day trip the other day.The guys thought he was like the HULK or something."
"I don't get it. How does SOBE help you catch fish??"
"It's not the SOBE --you beefsteak-- it's the STUFF in it."
"The GREEN TEA?"
"What are you--some kinda moron-- the anabolic steroids."
"Hey--I know Anna Baughlick--she wouldn't have anything to do with that kinda stuff, but she does make a mean fish taco."
"Look, remember the other day when Irv said that Todd was really "ripping the lips" off the fish? Well, he literally WAS ripping the lips off them!! Seems he was setting the hook and coming back with nothing but fish lips!!!"
"That can't be good for the sport?"
" It's all about the hook ups man, you know that. No hook ups-- no fish--no fish-- no bookings-- no bookings, and.... your back selling cars."
"I guess that makes sense?!? Seems unfair to the guys not JUICING--what can we do about it?"
" Not a thing. The guides association says they're gonna start making guys start peeing in a cup."
"They do that already."
"That's different-- you rump roast-- this would be a test."
"Oh. What happens if they get caught?"
" They'll get an asterisk put on their fishing license."
"WOW, THAT SOUNDS SEVERE!!! You mean after all those years of earning the BIG BUCKS getting paid for doing what most of us would do for free--they will have to live the rest of their days with an asterisk?Man that sounds cruel!!"
"Well, they gotta do something."
"But don't you still have to find the fish? I don't see where the steroids help you locate the fish and get 'em hooked up?"
"Have you ever seen a guy on Stanazolol? That stuff makes you so "on edge" that if a mosquito brushes a hair on your arm you react like a male Chihuahua does when he sniffs a bitch in heat."
"You hump some guys leg?"
"No--you T-bone head-- it makes you really in tune, ultra aware of your surroundings."
"Guess that explains him grabbing all those rods from his customers all the time."
"Yeah, and they say he does a lot of "emphatic finger pointing" too."
"Whatever.What does he say to all the accusations?"
"Says he must have got a bad batch of SOBE."
"He is taking Viagra, you know."
"That has other side effects--but that really doesn't help him catch any fish."
"Well, I think it's terrible--but if Todd keeps getting all the bookings, I might just have to start JUICING too"
"Yeah, me too. I heard about 60 percent of all guides are doing it now."
"Guess that explains why they are so cranky."
"Yeah. Hey have you noticed the fish seem to be getting fatter?"
"Yeah. But that's another story...."
High water fishing can be super Bastrop Daily Enterprise
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A Keys fishing boat was in a protected area, the Coast Guard says. It had other problems - Miami Herald
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Monmouth ice fishing derby aims to take 'kids out for a fun day at fishing' - Kennebec Journal & Morning Sentinel
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Battle on Bago winter fishing tournament returns to the Fox Valley lakes for 12th season - The Oshkosh Northwestern
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The 12th annual Battle on Bago winter fishing tournament kicks off Thursday night with a concert at Menominee Park in Oshkosh.
Hilton Head charter captain finds unlikely fishing buddies — a dolphin mom and baby - Greenville News
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Women are key to future fishing boat sales; E15 sales to go year round Trade Only Today
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Why North Carolinian boats are fishing off New Jersey's coast, and how a CSF might help: Fishing boats now travel more than 250 miles to catch the fish that used to be in local waters - Science Daily
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Spring chinook fishing zone on lower Columbia River to be cut in half, changes take effect March 1 - OregonLive
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Napa Valley Fishing Report: Celebrate 'International Year of the Salmon' at the Cameo - Napa Valley Register
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European nymphing is catching on and catching fish. Here's how and why you should try the trending technique of euro nymphing.
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What's biting and what's working to put fish in the cooler for Polk County fishermen.
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Update: Leaky lake stops fishing for the summer KSN-TV
This is probably my favorite place to come,” Joe LaBelle said.
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Bass pro Randy Blaukat shares a pile of tips on how to fish jerkbaits to catch bass during the winter months and other cold water periods.
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The Yellowfins from HELL!
Hi Lee Palm/Red Rooster crew(San Diego - California)..
Do you have a lucky hat?It was a beautiful warm day in the mid 70's. Typical of what we get in Colorado during September.
A Big Fish Story
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The Ubiquitous Woolly Bugger
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Finding Trophy Bass
Have you ever noticed some people have all the luck when it comes to catching huge bass? Maybe, it's not luck at all, it is most likely they know where to look for the lunkers and what the big bass need to survive. Bass continue growing their whole life but when you have the right elements, they can grow to be monsters.
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6 Things You Must Do If You Want To Have The Secret To Catching More Trout
It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming. ~John Steinbeck1.
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Many people know just what type of lure they want to use in order to catch the elusive fish. In fact, one of the most common types of lures is called a spinner.
Swimbaits Are Swimming East
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The Old Heddon Meadow Mouse
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I Gave A Brand New Rod And Reel To An Alligator For Free
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Where To Find 10 Fly Fishing Tips In A Single Paragraph
When looking for information on how to fly fish, fly fishing tips or fly fishing techniques, many anglers, or anglers to be,who limit their search to books or material written ithin the last few years or decades are short-changing themselves.Fact is, many anglers continue to miss out on great fly fishing information by not reaching back into the rich history of the sport and seeking the advice and wisdom of true fly fishing pioneers.
Night Fishing Preparation, The Key To Success
Preparation is the Key To Successful Night Fishing, You Better Have These..
Cabo Sport Fishing is Like a Box of Chocolates
As Forrest Gump would say, you never know what you're going to get.Not too many things get me more excited than the prospect of hooking and landing big fish.
From Personal Belly Boats to High Performance Racers - An Overview of Inflatable Boats
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Reviewing the New Berkley Vanish Transition Fluorocarbon Line
The visibility of the line was good. As we were using 2 green lines, a yellow line plus a blue line on this day, it was easy to pick out.
Fly Fishing for Saltwater Salmon with Surface Flies
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Bluefin Tuna Fishing
Bluefin tuna are one of the greatest challenges to anglers off the coast of New England, and Massachusetts continues to be a center of activity for giant bluefin tuna.Most tuna are caught chunking or trolling.
Bass Fishing In The Winter In The North
The next few days in Ohio are supposed to be in the 50's, so, guess what I plan on doing if the lakes thaw out? Yep, go fishing for bass.As you know the bass are not going to spend a lot of energy going after your bait, so offer them something a little larger than usual.
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