Steroids Running Rampant In Fishing World
You knew it would come to this sooner or later....
I was sitting in one of my favorite fishing haunts the other day, getting yet another report from a recent Alaskan fishing trip,when I overheard a conversation between two local guides.
"Todd sure had a great Springer season."
"Yeah, nobody seemed to be catching any fish except him?!"
"And did you notice the size of his HEAD...it's getting HUGE!!"
"Must be all that rowing he's been doing all summer."
"Yeah, that time spent on his BOWLEX in the off season is really starting to pay off."
"Some guys think he might be JUICING."
"You mean like orange juice??"
"No- you hamburger- STEROIDS."
"Yeah, you know the last couple of years Todd has been having a tough go of it out there. Seems like all the younger guides have been giving him a run for the money. His fish catching production had really dropped off the last few seasons. At first, guys started seeing him drinking a lotta SOBE--you know that drink that has a bunch of Creatine, Taurine and Polypropylene in it-- anyway, pretty soon he started to need bigger fishing hats, one guy said he saw his head burst right through a ball cap on a day trip the other day.The guys thought he was like the HULK or something."
"I don't get it. How does SOBE help you catch fish??"
"It's not the SOBE --you beefsteak-- it's the STUFF in it."
"The GREEN TEA?"
"What are you--some kinda moron-- the anabolic steroids."
"Hey--I know Anna Baughlick--she wouldn't have anything to do with that kinda stuff, but she does make a mean fish taco."
"Look, remember the other day when Irv said that Todd was really "ripping the lips" off the fish? Well, he literally WAS ripping the lips off them!! Seems he was setting the hook and coming back with nothing but fish lips!!!"
"That can't be good for the sport?"
" It's all about the hook ups man, you know that. No hook ups-- no fish--no fish-- no bookings-- no bookings, and.... your back selling cars."
"I guess that makes sense?!? Seems unfair to the guys not JUICING--what can we do about it?"
" Not a thing. The guides association says they're gonna start making guys start peeing in a cup."
"They do that already."
"That's different-- you rump roast-- this would be a test."
"Oh. What happens if they get caught?"
" They'll get an asterisk put on their fishing license."
"WOW, THAT SOUNDS SEVERE!!! You mean after all those years of earning the BIG BUCKS getting paid for doing what most of us would do for free--they will have to live the rest of their days with an asterisk?Man that sounds cruel!!"
"Well, they gotta do something."
"But don't you still have to find the fish? I don't see where the steroids help you locate the fish and get 'em hooked up?"
"Have you ever seen a guy on Stanazolol? That stuff makes you so "on edge" that if a mosquito brushes a hair on your arm you react like a male Chihuahua does when he sniffs a bitch in heat."
"You hump some guys leg?"
"No--you T-bone head-- it makes you really in tune, ultra aware of your surroundings."
"Guess that explains him grabbing all those rods from his customers all the time."
"Yeah, and they say he does a lot of "emphatic finger pointing" too."
"Whatever.What does he say to all the accusations?"
"Says he must have got a bad batch of SOBE."
"He is taking Viagra, you know."
"That has other side effects--but that really doesn't help him catch any fish."
"Well, I think it's terrible--but if Todd keeps getting all the bookings, I might just have to start JUICING too"
"Yeah, me too. I heard about 60 percent of all guides are doing it now."
"Guess that explains why they are so cranky."
"Yeah. Hey have you noticed the fish seem to be getting fatter?"
"Yeah. But that's another story...."
Two-Fly fishing derby expands in 20th year | News, Sports, Jobs The Adirondack Daily Enterprise
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Snook fishing is hot from docks, bridges and causeways in Stuart, Jensen Beach, Sandsprit Park TCPalm
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Article: Otsego bass: the fish that didn't go away, thanks to some help - The Chesapeake Bay Journal
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Ethan Bronschidle is pictured with his catch. Submitted photo CHAUTAUQUA LAKE The crappie bite in the canals went cold earlier this week, likely a result o.
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How much can you win fishing for shad? 'I wouldn't rule $25,000 out,' contest organizer says - lehighvalleylive.com
How much can you win fishing for shad? 'I wouldn't rule $25,000 out,' contest organizer says lehighvalleylive.com
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Crappie bite at Brownlee, boating opens at Lake Lowell. Check this week’s fishing tips. - Idaho Statesman
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Even after sinking of Seattle-based Destination, Coast Guard slow-walks training for fishing boat skippers - The Seattle Times
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Take Me Fishing 6 On Your Side
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Fishing report: Crappie are getting better but not quite in spawn mode in most areas Kansas City Star
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A fishing captain in the Florida Keys says he caught a 757-pound swordfish.
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Ask Orlando: Even with no sign of a 'keep off' sign, can you fish in a body of water off the highway? - Orlando Sentinel
Ask Orlando: Even with no sign of a 'keep off' sign, can you fish in a body of water off the highway? Orlando Sentinel
There are signs next to retention ponds near highways that prohibit fishing, but if there is no sign does that mean everything in the water is fair game?
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Open Forum: California’s whale protections must also protect crab fishing industry - San Francisco Chronicle
Open Forum: California’s whale protections must also protect crab fishing industry San Francisco Chronicle
Closure of the Dungeness season helps prevent whales from becoming entangled in gear but is also hard on families who rely on the fishery for work.
Nebraska Game and Parks Commission announce fishing challenge 1011now
The Nebraska Game and Parks Commission has announced a statewide challenge in which anglers can win prizes just by sharing their love of fishing.
Florida fisherman dies after attempting to retrieve fishing pole: report Fox News
A Florida fisherman who was pulled from the water on Saturday after attempting to retrieve his fishing pole in West Palm Beach has died, a report said.
The Fishing Beat (April 10, 2019) Buffalo News
Bullheads were hitting, some salmon have been caught and the ice boom probably will be in place for at least another week. In the meantime, recognize that ...
Few salmon mean no summer fishing on the Columbia. Fall forecast in flux Tacoma News Tribune
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Today@NCCapitol: Fishing, beer and Daylight Saving Time WRAL.com
House Health committee considers bills requiring insurers to cover oral chemotherapy treatments, promoting the safe storage of firearms and classifying some ...
The Yellowfins from HELL!
Hi Lee Palm/Red Rooster crew(San Diego - California)..
Do you have a lucky hat?It was a beautiful warm day in the mid 70's. Typical of what we get in Colorado during September.
A Big Fish Story
Ketchikan, located in southeast Alaska, is a good place to fish for halibut. Sally and John Balch live in Ketchikan and have a favorite spot nearby to halibut fish.
The Ubiquitous Woolly Bugger
The ubiquitous Woolly Bugger, never quite spelled correctly to my eyes, appeals to the eyes of every gamefish imaginable. If I had one pattern to fish the rest of my life, no matter what the fish, no matter what the conditions, this would be it.
Finding Trophy Bass
Have you ever noticed some people have all the luck when it comes to catching huge bass? Maybe, it's not luck at all, it is most likely they know where to look for the lunkers and what the big bass need to survive. Bass continue growing their whole life but when you have the right elements, they can grow to be monsters.
Pitchin For Large Mouth Bass
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Fishing The Henrys Fork - Box Canyon
It is easy to get intimidated by world class rivers.I guess the Henry's Fork was a little intimidating to me.
6 Things You Must Do If You Want To Have The Secret To Catching More Trout
It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming. ~John Steinbeck1.
What You Need To Know About Spinner Fishing
Many people know just what type of lure they want to use in order to catch the elusive fish. In fact, one of the most common types of lures is called a spinner.
Swimbaits Are Swimming East
What lures are 4-13" long, been used regularly on the West Coast and have caught some of the biggest bass ever? Yep, Swimbaits.Now a change is happening, these lunker catching baits are being used on the East Coast as well.
The Old Heddon Meadow Mouse
Have you ever fished with a Heddon Meadow Mouse? How did you do? The reason I ask is, I have fished with them until I lost my last one and did extremely well at catching big bass using them. I would throw the lure out and let it sit.
I Gave A Brand New Rod And Reel To An Alligator For Free
One day a friend and I decided to go fishing in Florida. It was a beautiful day and we were going in my friend's boat, so we got up at 4 AM and was on our way for about an hour's drive.
Where To Find 10 Fly Fishing Tips In A Single Paragraph
When looking for information on how to fly fish, fly fishing tips or fly fishing techniques, many anglers, or anglers to be,who limit their search to books or material written ithin the last few years or decades are short-changing themselves.Fact is, many anglers continue to miss out on great fly fishing information by not reaching back into the rich history of the sport and seeking the advice and wisdom of true fly fishing pioneers.
Night Fishing Preparation, The Key To Success
Preparation is the Key To Successful Night Fishing, You Better Have These..
Cabo Sport Fishing is Like a Box of Chocolates
As Forrest Gump would say, you never know what you're going to get.Not too many things get me more excited than the prospect of hooking and landing big fish.
From Personal Belly Boats to High Performance Racers - An Overview of Inflatable Boats
Inflatable boats, also called rubber boats or dinghies, have been around in one form or another for thousands of years. They now come in many different sizes and models and include inflatable kayaks, sport boats, and inflatable catamarans.
Reviewing the New Berkley Vanish Transition Fluorocarbon Line
The visibility of the line was good. As we were using 2 green lines, a yellow line plus a blue line on this day, it was easy to pick out.
Fly Fishing for Saltwater Salmon with Surface Flies
One of the greatest thrills in Pacific Northwest fly fishing is bringing large anadramous fish to a surface fly. While surface fishing in the saltwater is not as popular as subsurface fly fishing, feeding saltwater coho salmon will take a popper quite aggressively.
Bluefin Tuna Fishing
Bluefin tuna are one of the greatest challenges to anglers off the coast of New England, and Massachusetts continues to be a center of activity for giant bluefin tuna.Most tuna are caught chunking or trolling.
Bass Fishing In The Winter In The North
The next few days in Ohio are supposed to be in the 50's, so, guess what I plan on doing if the lakes thaw out? Yep, go fishing for bass.As you know the bass are not going to spend a lot of energy going after your bait, so offer them something a little larger than usual.
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